Excelsior: TV’s Guiltiest Pleasures

There are the kinds of television shows you are proud to be a fan of. You like them because the dialogue is realistic and brilliantly written, the actors’ performances are Oscar-worthy and the storylines are elaborate works of art. But then, there’s another kind of TV show: The one you watch even though you know it’s, objectively speaking, trash – the guilty pleasure. The Excelsior presents four reality shows that have no artistic, social, or educational value, but that you will tune in to anyway – because they are just too much fun to watch.


VH1’s Tough Love (VH1)

Have trouble finding a boyfriend? You ain’t seen nothing yet! VH1’s “Tough Love” assembles the most hopeless cases of female dating wrecks. There’s the marriage-obsessed 24-year-old who talks about having kids after one date, the career-minded businesswoman who doesn’t make time for her love life, the crazy party girl who makes out with a different guy every night, the timid girlie who changes who she is depending on who she is dating.
These women move into a house together and get dating advice, not from a therapist, but from a matchmaker, of all people. In the end, they are supposedly ready for a long-term relationship.
Apart from the ridiculous notion that all these women’s issues can be solved in a two-month “boot camp,” forcing each woman into a stereotypical personality template is extremely simplistic. On the other hand, any girl who has ever been single knows how hard dating can be and can identify with one of the women. And if you take the host’s advice with a grain of salt, there’s actually something to learn here about how men think. He’s not bad to look at, either.

http://www.vh1.com/shows/tough_love/season_2/series.jhtml


Flavor of Love/Rock of Love/I Love New York/For the Love of Ray J./and so an and so forth (VH1)

The formula of all these shows is simple: A total Has-Been or a Never-Really-Was lives in a house with a number of people of the opposite sex with whom he or she regularly makes out. Every week, one of the potential “partners” is sent home.
There’s nothing to learn here whatsoever. This is all about looking down on people who engage in inane competitions, (cat) fights and desperate attempts to get the attention of a person most people wouldn’t look at twice. But sometimes, you just need some mindless entertainment that makes you feel better about yourself.

http://www.vh1.com/shows/flavor_of_love/season_1/series.jhtml
http://www.vh1.com/shows/rock_of_love/season_1/series.jhtml
http://www.vh1.com/shows/i_love_new_york/season_1/series.jhtml
http://www.vh1.com/shows/for_the_love_of_rayj/season_1/series.jhtml


Hogan Knows Best/Brooke Knows Best (VH1)

Almost-forgotten former stars are a recurrent theme in reality TV, as seen on “Hogan Knows Best,” in which wrestler Hulk Hogan and his family were followed around by cameras throughout their day-to-day lives. For the most part, it was all minor conflicts with neighbors, going to the gym and daddy not wanting his daughter to go on dates – pretty banal stuff. But then, actual reality interfered and made the show (whose focus had meanwhile shifted to daughter Brooke) interesting – Hulk cheated on his wife with a girl that looked a lot like his daughter, the parents got divorced, mom took a boyfriend half her age, and the son went to jail after causing a car accident that sent his best friend into a coma.
You would almost think it was scripted – but in this case, it was real life that created the drama.

http://www.vh1.com/shows/hogan_knows_best/season_1/series.jhtml
http://www.vh1.com/shows/brooke_knows_best/season_1/series.jhtml


Tool Academy (VH1)

If you’re ever really pissed at your boyfriend, just watch an episode of “Tool Academy,” and you will only be too happy to take him back. Here, the worst of the worst in male – and essentially human – behavior is showcased. If girls (and, since this season, guys) cannot take their significant other’s cheating, lying, and generally tool-ish ways anymore, they enroll them in the “academy” that supposedly makes “knights in shining armor” out of them.
This, of course, is bullshit. A few minutes of therapy and a telegenic challenge a week does not a great boyfriend make. But it’s fun to see them try.

http://www.vh1.com/shows/tool_academy/season_1/series.jhtml


Dishonorable Mention: Jersey Shore (MTV)

This trashy reality soap about a group of orange-tanned, self-described “Guidos” got lots of attention recently. But there’s too much low-class bitch-slapping, name-calling and drunken making-out going on on “Jersey Shore” for it to be called a “pleasure.” If you actually enjoy watching this show, you should just feel plain guilty.